My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Sober January is a disaster.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
