Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
