You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
