were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
