If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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