So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
