Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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