how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize