Me too!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
