We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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