Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
