there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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