Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
