Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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