1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize