i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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