The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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