Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
