The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
