there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
