I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
