I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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