i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
