Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
