if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
