theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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