I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
