i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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