Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
