Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
