How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
