Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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