I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
