there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
