Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize