ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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