I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
