I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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