Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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