Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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