just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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