i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
