Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
