I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
