Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
