Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
