I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
