I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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