i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just high enough for therapy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
