Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
