when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize