Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
3pm strippers are depressing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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