Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
