there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
try to milk me bitch
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
