maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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