What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
