apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize