He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
