don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
