I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize