We're like a lot better than the average bears
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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