I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
